Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
