Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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