I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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