You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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