I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
