filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize