There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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