you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
