i think my tv is drunk
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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