I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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