I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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