Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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