I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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