So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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