For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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