We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
organizing the empties. That sober.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
