then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This baby is an asshole
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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