I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
