OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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