you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
