WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
