i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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