OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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