he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
