I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
