It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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