I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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