After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
