i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
