I feel like abortions should bother me more
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
