pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
