Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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