Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
