isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
