just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i believe in u and ur pee
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize