Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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