Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
even my farts smell like vagina
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's shark week go big or go home
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
