can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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