I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
