She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize