Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
