Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I smell like Dick and happiness
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
