There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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