She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
