i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
