Christians are straight up FREAKS
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Bring me that man meat
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
