It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
