well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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