you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
