Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
