you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My vagina just recognized that song.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
