those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
