No stitches, just platelets and will power
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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