first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
