loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
