I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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