I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
